


is gay contagious (im not even gay)

by Anonymous



Category: South Park
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Gen, M/M, i tried to stay in character, just a bunch of sass, not betaread, there are real life references dont stress if they fly over ur head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 07:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12700323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The girls broke up with their boyfriends to find skankhunt42. Now, the girls want to get back with their boyfriends. Apparently they boys have all found new "girlfriends" in the span of a month, however.literally crack taken seriously





	is gay contagious (im not even gay)

**Author's Note:**

> theres no 3 month rule, someone is gonna call me out for this stupid thing.
> 
> holy shit i started this fanfic at 1 am i finishing 6 am. i m so unhealthy but the ideas for this fic just kept coming and the bantering felt really natural to come up with
> 
>  
> 
> IM TIRED THIS IS NOT BETAREAD
> 
> ALSO THIS BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL SO

Clyde Donovan only went to his locker to casually grab some books. When he closed his locker door however, he was greeted with the face of an angry blonde.

“What the hell Clyde, you haven’t picked up my calls!” Bebe screamed at Clyde. Clyde, with a little gap in his mouth and a flash of confusion, quickly eyed the forming surrounding crowd who was attracted by Bebe’s shrill voice.

“Uh…. We’re not together anymore, Bebe,” Clyde replied. All the boys stared on in anticipation, most of them from the same class as him.

“What do you mean we’re not together anymore! Yesterday, I gave you a wink and then texted you to meet me at the ice skating rink. And you never showed up! Then I tried calling you but it went straight to voice mail!”

“We broke up like… a month ago Bebe over Skankhunt42. I mean sure, I cried over it a lot. But now I’m seeing someone else,” Clyde explained.

“What the fuck!? How did you manage to get over a break up _and_ find someone new already?! All girls who aren’t sluts always wait 3 months just to see if the ex-girlfriend wants to rebound!” Bebe screeched. Clyde began to quiver a little under his ex-girlfriend’s wrath.

“Look, Bebe, I’m sorry. I can’t go out with you anymore so please leave me alone!” Clyde shouted before making a desperate dash into the crowd that had surrounded them to watch the scene unfold. Bebe was left in the middle of the circle, looking both infuriated and confused. Who was the whore that dared to date _her_ Clyde?

Bebe let out a final huff, eyes screaming bloody murder. She turned away, stomping her way to class.

The crowd began to disperse leaving only Craig, Tweek, and Token.

“Oh boy. She sure seems pissed the hell off.” Craig stated.

“W-What are y-you gonna do!!??! She’s g-gonna kill you w-when she f-finds out!!” Tweek shouted. Token immediately put his hand over Tweek’s mouth.

“Do you have to be so loud? You know there are girls everywhere, right? You guys are just making it easy for her to find out!” Token whispered in a hush voice. Tweek twitched violently before slapping Token’s hand off his mouth.

“Ok, Ok, S-sorry!” Tweek exclaimed.

“Well, if it’s any condolence, it seems being a gay couple might let you off the hook somewhat. I mean, Kevin Spacey is attempting the same thing. But you haven’t been sexually harassing women, so you should be fine.” Craig casually says.

“OK, well maybe everyone supported you guys being a gay couple but that’s because they supported Tweek and Craig, not because you guys are gay. Also, the novelty wears off after the first gay couple. We’ll be the Andi Mack to your Good Luck Charlie!”

“For the record, the people behind Good Luck Charlie got sent death threats. The people in Andi Mack probably have it way better.” Craig corrected Token.

“That’s beside the point! I am NOT going to make our relationship public just so Bebe can kick my ass!” Token justified.

“I-I think t-that’s p-prob-bably th-he best o-option r-right now!” Tweek agreed. Craig sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, right. I don’t understand why you gotta be such a pussy about this. Me, Tweek, you, and pretty much every other boy in Ms. Nelson’s class are in a gay relationship right now. One of you will get exposed, and it won’t be long before you all get exposed. Especially if all your ex-girlfriends are working together.” Craig stated.

“O-Oh J-Jesu-sus!” Tweek exclaimed, an extremely nervous expression on his face. Token’s face flashed with anger.

“Oh, save it for the bed! Fuck you guys, you guys offer the worst advice ever. Of course the girls don’t give a shit about your relationship, they already think you two are off-limits due to your sexuality. Some of us like our asses unwhooped, you know!” Token ran off in the other direction. Tweek and Craig just watched him stomp away in anger, not unlike how Bebe did.

“He does realize Ms. Nelson’s classroom is in the other direction, right?” Craig simply asked his boyfriend.

* * *

 

“So children, does anyone remember how to do long division from last year? It’s okay if you don’t know, I’ll lead you step by step into the process…” Ms. Nelson turned to her blackboard and picked up her chalk and began to draw numbers.

All the boys were distracted by their ex-girlfriends, however. Except Eric Cartman, who was busy texting Heidi on his phone in class. All the girls were staring at their ex-boyfriends.

Kyle, who doesn’t have an ex-girlfriend, leaned over to Stan.

“Psst, Stan!” Kyle whispered. Stan broke his uncomfortable mutual stare-down with Wendy to his best friend.

“Yeah, dude?”

“Is it just me or… does it feel different in here today?” Kyle asked.

“Oh, dude. Did you see the fight between Bebe and Clyde that happened today?” Stan replied.

“No. Wait a minute, they’re back together? But I thought Clyde was dating-“

“Token,” Stan interrupted Kyle, lowering the volume of his voice down to as lowest as he can, wary of any girls accidentally overhearing.

“So…” Kyle inquired in a curious tone.

“Bebe thinks that Clyde rebounded with some other girl. She thought that after the skankhunt incident rolled over, she and Clyde would get back together immediately.” Stan explained.

“Dang. Is she the first one to ask her ex-boyfriend out after the skankhunt thing?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah. That means it’s going to start getting suspicious when everyone realizes that their ex-boyfriend is magically dating someone else now,” Stan said.

“…Have you spoken to Wendy yet?” Kyle questioned with a small hint of insecurity in his voice. Stan sighed.

“No. Dude, I’m like super serious about this. Kinda. I mean it’s not going to be worth a try unless we make it serious. So don’t worry about Wendy stealing me back or something. I wouldn’t do that to you, even if we decided we were just going to be friends. Remember the 3 month rule,” Stan winked. Kyle couldn’t help but burst into laughter out loud in class.

“Mr. Broflovski. Do you have anything to share with the class?” Ms. Nelson’s unamused voice cut sharp into the deep tension of the class. Kyle, turning a little red with embarrassment at getting told off by his teacher, replied with a resounded “no” before slinking a little in his desk.

Stan smiled smugly, not every paying attention to Wendy anymore. Who still stared at the back of his head even when he was turned away from her.

 

* * *

 

“I tried to get back together with Token, but he told me he was seeing someone else.” Nichole said glumly.

“Yeah, Daniel told me the same thing! I even apologized for the whole skankhunt42 thing and he still wouldn’t get back together with me. I don’t know what I did wrong, I even tried to explain that what we did was for the good of south park!” Annie began before almost bursting in tears and covered her eyes with curled up fists.

“There, there, Annie.” Bebe comforted, patting Annie on the back.

“Well, I haven’t asked Stan yet but I feel like this is a coordinated attack. There’s no way these boys were about to get girlfriends so quick after a break up of our magnitude. They’re probably lying to us to make us feel bad.” Wendy suggested.

“Wait, wait!” Red spoke up, a frustrated woman who was rejected by Kevin Stoley.

All the girls looked up to her.

“I know who did this! It was the Canadians! Don’t you see how this all makes sense! Those Canadian girls don’t follow American customs, so they don’t know about the 3 month rule that we follow! Those skanks stole our boyfriends! They took our boyfriends!” Red angrily began to vindicate.

“Hold on a second, maybe we shouldn’t jump to-“ Wendy began before all the girls pumped their fists up in the year and began to scream agreements with Red. Wendy sighed and let the mob of girls angrily make their way across the playground, hungry for some Canadian girl meat. And not in the lesbian sense, either.

“Oh, Stan. What’s gotten into you?” Wendy asked, looking at her reflection in a puddle. She hadn’t asked Stan about getting back together, but she had the strong urge he was going to say the same thing every boy was also saying. She thought Stan would at least be more mature than the other boys. But then again, she hadn’t been mature when she broken up with him. She turned her head to the swings, where Stan was swinging with Kyle right next to him. She imagined herself occupying the empty seat to the left of Stan’s.

She looked back to the ground before she realized:

“Wait a minute, where did this puddle even come from? It wasn’t raining last night.” Wendy was suddenly aware of a little boy who stood right next to her. She inched away, progressing into a faster pace with each step.

“Oh, now we’re blaming me, huh? Just cause I’m in kindergarten doesn’t mean I’m not potty-trained! Fuck you for thinking we were going to make that joke!” The little boy shouted at YOU, walking away in anger.

Wendy slinked towards the swings, debating with herself if she should just take the initiative. She decided to just go for it. She walked right up to where Stan and Kyle were and occupied the empty swing on Stan’s other side. Stan and Kyle immediately went quiet, staring at Wendy.

“Uh… I better go.” Kyle excused himself, not equipped with dealing with a heart-broken girl whose suspicions were being confirmed. Stan looked at Kyle running away in alarm, almost as if he didn’t want the boy to leave but it was too late by then.

“Hey…. Wendy….” Stan greeted. Wendy sighed.

“You’re not getting back together with me, huh?” Wendy asked. Stan rubbed the back of his head with his gloved hand, trying to find a way to explain it.

“I-“ Stan began but Wendy hushed him with a wave of her hand.

“I get it, Stan. You want to be just as immature as the other boys in our class and make up some fake girlfriend you’re seeing just to get back at me for breaking up with you. Right now, the Canadian girls are going to get their asses kicked because people like you won’t grow up. Have a nice life, Stan,” Wendy all but spat in Stan’s face. Stan flinched, feeling extreme guilt but also debating with himself whether he should tell the truth.

“W-wait. Wendy. Please… you were sort of one of the best things that’s happened in my life,” Stan started. Wendy, who was walking away, stopped in her tracks. She turned around.

“Then why won’t you get back together with me?” Wendy asked.

“Because you’re only one of the best things! I have multiple best things that’s happened to me and you’re trying to guilt trip me into switching one best thing for another, alright! Please… can’t we at least be just friends?” Stan asked, the smallest tinge of hope left in his eyes.

“Ok, uh, wow. You’re really dating someone new?”

“Yes. I am. I swear, Wendy, that if I wasn’t already dating someone that I would get back with you in a heartbeat. But I’m trying out new things and well… I just can’t abandon my new relationship, alright?” Stan admitted, his face a deep red at the things coming out of his mouth. Wendy stared at Stan in amazement.

“Alright Stan. You seem to be telling the truth. I don’t mind being friends just for now. Although, I don’t understand the secrecy behind everyone’s new girlfriend if they do exist. Well, I guess I kinda do considering Bebe and the others witch-hunting who stole their boy toys.”

“God, didn’t we learn anything about witch-hunting from our dads?” Stan said, exasperating and rolling his eyes. Wendy chuckled a little.

“Right now, they’re witch-hunting the Canadians. They seem to think and I quote ‘They took our boyfriends!’. It’s the same exact thing that happened when middle-class men began to accuse the Canadians of taking their jobs. I don’t think any of them realize it, though.” Wendy explained. Stan winced.

“Wow. It’s really that bad?”

“Stan, all us girls planned to break up with all our boyfriends in a coordinated attack. We’re very vicious when we work together to get something we want,”  Wendy revealed. Stan looked concerned and almost fearful.

“Oh, geez. This is not going to go down well,” Stan moaned. Wendy only raised an eyebrow at Stan’s reaction.

* * *

 

On the other side of the park, was a bunch of angry girls from Ms. Nelson’s class surrounding the Canadian girls. The aggressive girls held the hostages with sharpened plastic forks, whilst the hostages held up their hands in fear.

“Bitches, you guys stole our boyfriends! Don’t even try to deny it now, there’s no other way so many boys could have gotten hooked up so fast!” Red confronted them.

“Yeah, as if we would want to date one of your ugly-ass boyfriends!” One of the Canadian girls bravely spoke up.

“I was with you on the plan a month ago, remember!” Charlotte implored.

“Oh yeah? Then who are you dating now?” Bebe asked, not buying the excuse.

“Nobody! I went to ask Butters if he wanted to start dating again almost 3 weeks ago to which he told me all girls were bitches and skanks and that none of us were worth it anymore!” Charlotte exasperated. All the girls looked at each other, debating if they should believe Charlotte.

“None of us are dating whoever you may have dated in the past. Please, let us go!” Charlotte pleaded, finally fed up with being held at fork-point. The girls sighed and let down their sharpened forks. The Canadian girls dispersed immediately in fear, running away from the “crazy American bitches”.

“This doesn’t make sense. Who could they possibly be dating if it’s not the Canadian girls? Who’s left?” Red asked herself but the question reflected the state of all the girls in her class.

“Maybe they got older or younger girlfriends.” Annie spoke up.

“Gross, Annie. Clyde would never do that,” Bebe grimaced.

“Well, we are running out of options,” Nelly chimed in.

“What if…. We stalk one of the boys and find out who their girlfriend is?” Bebe spoke up.

“Oh, fuck off Bebe. You’re just saying that because you want to know who Clyde’s getting laid with now,” Lola accused Bebe, who gasped in shock and anger.

“Now, now. Let’s not fight each other on this. If we want to find out who’s dating our boyfriends, we have to work together, right?” Nichole intervened between the two girls, pushing them apart.

“I agree. We have to work together or else the boys will win in not only humiliating us into getting back together with them but also pushing our female society apart. What happened to feminism, girls?” Esther announced.

“I guess we could start with finding out who Clyde’s dating first. I mean, gotta give Bebe the head bitch some props for having the guts to be the first girl trying to get back together with her man after the break up.” Nelly declared.

“Head bitch?” Bebe asked, liking the title more than she should have.

“I always thought Nelly was head bitch, but I guess Bebe is the one whoring after her ex-boyfriend the most, so” Lola declared.

“So what should we do to catch Clyde in the act?” Nichole queried.

All the girls sat in silence, no ideas.

“How is this going to work? We don’t even have a place to start!” Esther exclaimed.

“We could try taking shifts to stalk him.” Annie proposed.  
“Even then, we still might not be able to find out who the mystery girl is!” Lola opined.

“That’s even if he has a girlfriend, which I’m 99% sure that no girl other than Bebe would come near him, let alone get laid with him!” Nelly said.

“You guys are being such rude bitches this meeting. Why the fuck do you care about my boyfriend, at least I can keep a boyfriend for more than 3 days you skank!” Bebe bickered, igniting a fight out of Nelly.

“I’ve kept a boyfriend for 2 weeks, for the record!” Nelly screamed she tackled Bebe on the ground, both getting violent with their perfectly trimmed nails.

“We are never going to find out anything,” Nichole declared.

 

* * *

 

A month later, and the girls have been stalking Clyde intensely. They haven’t noticed any strange activity. He usually goes to either Craig’s, Tweak’s, or Token’s house after school. On the days where he goes straight home after school, still nothing happens.

 

“So, he lied. He rather lie about having a girlfriend than being with _me_. “ Bebe said.

“It’s hilarious how she actually thinks this is shocking,” Lola snickered to her friends.

“God, why do you guys have to be such bitches?” A voice rang out. Wendy Testaburger approached the lot of them, clearly defensive about Bebe.

“Fine. We’ll leave. I knew we shouldn’t have stalked Clyde. Out of the boys we stalked, of course it had to be Bebe’s boyfriend who is a known liar. Last time we ever listen to one of Bebe’s ideas.” Lola retaliated before sauntering away with her friends.

“Are you alright?” Wendy asked her friend.

“Not emotionally,” Bebe admitted.

“Are you back with Stan?” Bebe queried. Wendy shook her head.

“I think he’s legitimately seeing someone else. He’s treating this new girlfriend as some serious business.” Wendy reported.

“You know… there’s only one girl in our grade who is still going out with a boy.” Bebe realized.

“Oh. You really think _he_ knows something about this?” Wendy doubted.

“It’s worth a try. A lot of boys like to follow Cartman and the stupid shit he gets involved with so I wouldn’t be surprised.” Bebe replied. Wendy found herself unable to argue against that point.

* * *

 

“Oh, wow Wendy. You sure are desperate if you’ve come to me for help,” Eric mocked. Wendy’s expression grew dark, her desire to strangle the fat boy in front of her multiplying by the second.

“Eric,” Wendy gritted out, pulling an artificial smile that’s strained by her unbridled rage for the boy.

“What the fuck do you want, ya fat bitch?”

“You’re calling _me_ fat?” Wendy challenged, eyeing Eric’s body one time.

“Just because I’m BIG-BONED doesn’t mean I can’t call out other people for being fat!” Eric screamed, extremely offended.

“Eric? What’s wrong?” Heidi walked over to where Eric was yelling and trying to support Eric with her body. Eric looked a bit fatigued and was tipping over a bit.

“Nothing, it’s just Wendy trying to ask me who’s dating her faggy ex-boyfriend,” Eric answered. Wendy looked offended not only because he used the word faggy but he wasn’t even listening to her in the first place.

“I didn’t ask about Stan. I asked about Clyde. Clyde Donovan. The brown-haired guy from our class,” Wendy corrected.

“Look, if I tell you where to find out who Clyde’s dating, will you leave me and my boyfriend alone?” Heidi bargained.

Wendy smiled pleasantly and held out her hand.

“You’ve got yourself a deal,”

* * *

 

It was just a normal day in Ms. Nelson’s class.

Until it wasn’t.

Well still normal for South Park’s standards, really.

The kids were learning about the areas of shapes when a screech in the hallway interrupted them.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” was heard slightly muffled by the door but definitely loud enough for everyone down the hallway to hear. And it was definitely distinguishable to be Bebe’s voice. Wendy winced. Was it that bad?  


Bebe burst through the door, eyes swimming in tears. Ms. Nelson gasped at the inappropriate behavior being displayed.

“Bebe!” Ms. Nelson shouted.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. I JUST CAN’T.” Bebe dramatically sobbed.

“Well, what are you waiting for girl? Tell us!” Lola snapped at the crying girl. Wendy scoffed in anger at the girl.

“Yeah, tell us Bebe.” Red pleaded, more gently than Lola but definitely holding the same enthusiasm.

All the boys in the class froze. The jig was up. The jig was up so badly!!!!!!

Bebe, who was shaking in shock, slowly pointed her quivering finger at Nichole. Then pointed the same finger at herself. Then she pointed back to Nichole and then to herself and so on so forth.

“What,” Annie asked, confused. All the girls were confused before Nichole slammed her fist on her desk, suddenly getting the message.

“No,” Nichole gasped before putting her hands on the side of her head in surprise.

“Yes,” Bebe gasped, trying to control her breathing.

“What is going on here!” Ms. Nelson demanded.

“All the girls are started to realize that their boyfriends turned into fags because they got infected from Tweek and Craig,” Cartman casually answered.

“WAIT! ARE YOU TELLING ME CLYDE IS DATING TOKEN!” Esther jumped up at her desk, voice alert. Wendy looked down at her desk before quickly rationalizing what was happening. Then she turned to Stan, accusing look and all.

“You’re dating Kyle and you didn’t even tell me!” Wendy pointed at Stan. Stan only slunk back in his seat in embarrassment while Kyle began to blabber things such as ‘it’s not what you think, Wendy!’ when it is exactly what she is thinking. It doesn’t take Wendy long to put two and two together.

Meanwhile, Cartman is just laughing his ass off at the entire situation.

“I don’t think I turned gay because of Tweek and Craig,” Butters suddenly commented.

“No, you turned gay because of me,” Kenny proudly announced, which caused everyone including the boys to gag at the horrible attempt of flirting they’ve just witnessed. Butters turned a bright red and joined Stan in a similar position of trying to hide his face under his desk.

“Fuck you all. I told you guys that I’m not even gay. I only stayed in the stupid relationship because I wasn’t going to get laid because the whole town thinks I’m gay with literally no input from me,” Craig also declared.

“T-then w-why d-did you c-call m-me h-honey the other day?” Tweek inquired.

“If I act like I’m gay the whole time, I’ll start actually turning gay,” Craig rationalized.

“Y-yeah r-right. H-h-how is Craig, one of the first boys to come out, s-still in de-de-de-ni-ni-nial?” Jimmy stammered out.

“Timmy!” Timmy chimed in.

“Also, you never reciprocate my nicknames. It’s like we’re not even dating sometimes. Fuck you, Tweek,” Craig added.

“Is he still actually claiming he’s not ‘even gay’? That is literally a statement that I would have expected from some faggy jew like Kyle,” Eric declared. Kyle didn’t even grace him with a retaliation to that comment.

“Y-you know I-I’m n-not good with c-coming u-up with n-nicknames!” Tweek shouted.

“You’re good at coming up with something else though. Or rather, coming up in something,” Kenny flirted, winking at Tweek. Butters started to stammer under his desk at the innuendo while Craig simply held up his middle finger at the boy in the orange parka.

“That doesn’t make sense. I’m so sure that Craig is the top.” Red contributed.

“I don’t know. F-for some r-reason I f-feel like T-tweek would be. M-maybe it’s j-just hot t-to me.” Jimmy argued.

“I’m nobody’s bitch,” Craig deadpanned.

“How are we arguing over one of Kenny’s innuendos!” Eric brought everyone back to reality.

“Okay, that’s enough guys! If you guys would stop bantering each other about each other’s homosexuality, you would realize that the teacher ran out of the classroom 5 minutes ago!” Wendy intervened.

“Oh sweet. I guess that means class is over then,” Eric quickly stuffed his books into his bag, and was heading straight for the door.

Except coming to the door was Mr. Mackey with Ms. Nelson in the background.

“Alright, mmkay so Ms. Nelson told me to come here as soon as possible because it seems like some of yall may be having a gay crisis. I’m here to have a talk with some of yall about it so it doesn’t disrupt class again, mmkay?” Mr. Mackey explained.

Then, Clyde and Token showed up behind Mr. Mackey, both with messed up hair. Clyde looked extremely dazes while Token looks almost embarrassed.

“Oh, well if it isn’t Clyde and Token. Have a seat boys, I was just about to explain to the class about sexuality,” Mr. Mackey said, oblivious to the boys’ already blooming relationship. Both boys ignored the stares of their classmates as they took their usual seat apart from each other.

“Wait! I’m not gay! I’m the only boy in our grade who’s dating a girl, please Mr. Mackey you have to believe me!” Eric pleaded.

“Sorry, Eric, but you might be having your gay sexuality crisis late, then. We still have to go through this talk to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again.”  Mr. Mackey justified.

Eric Cartman literally got on his knees and started to scream “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”.

“Serves that fatass right,” Kyle scoffs. Stan high fives his boyfriend.

Mr. Mackey is not prepared to deal with a classroom full of 98% bicurious boys, 1% definitely straight boy, and 2% definitely gay boys.

Craig would argue with that statistic with all his heart.

Wendy would argue with the math of that statistic.

“Christ, that was a nightmare,” Clyde complained as he and Token walked towards Token’s house.

“I can’t believe Bebe caught us in the Janitor’s closet! We weren’t even doing anything and then bam! The door opens, she starts putting the pieces together and soon enough everyone got exposed,”

“You think someone sold us out?” Clyde pointed out.

“Only one guy who could have,” Token huffed with anger.

“Oh. That fatass, you mean,” Clyde flatly stated. Token smiled at the insult Clyde had given Eric./

“Come on, I’ll tutor you on long division,” Token said, holding Clyde’s hand and leading him into his house.

“That would be sooo appreciated,” Clyde admitted, having a horrible grade in the subject.

* * *

 

“How come you never told me you were dating Kyle?” Wendy asked Stan.

“Look, none of us were supposed to reveal we were in our bicurious stage. Though I don’t understand why you guys were so upset with us. You guys were the one who broke up with us!” Stan surmised.

“Well we had to break with up everyone because of skankhunt42,” Wendy replied.

“Bullshit. You guys broke up with us because none of you guys felt you could trust us. In the end, none of us- not even Cartman- turned out to be skankhunt42 and you just expected us to come forgiving you women while you blamed it on PMS or something like that,” Stan accused.

“Whoa there. That’s a lot of assumptions you made there,” Wendy said, obviously angry.

“You expected me to be more mature than the others boys when you couldn’t even be mature when the other girls broke up with their boyfriends. Screw you, Wendy. I care about you but that doesn’t mean I have to excuse every shitty thing you’ve done,” Stan admitted.

“I’m sorry, okay? You’re right. I shouldn’t have not trusted you. You were my boyfriend,” Wendy murmured.

Stan’s anger dissipated.

“I gotta go. Me and Kyle are going to play the new chinpokomon game,” Stan declared before running off.

“Aww dude, that’s a bit harsh,” Kyle commented after Stan explained the conversation.

“I know! I was so rude to her. Is it because I turned gay?” Stan asked. Kyle laughed leaning into Stan, who opened his arm to accustomed the red-haired boy.

“Stan, be serious about this,” Kyle scolded Stan gently.

“I don’t know. I think we’re still going to be friends. She didn’t seem that offended.

“Great,” Kyle patted Stan on the head.

“Aren’t you going to go into jealously mode or something?” Stan joked with Kyle.

“You would be into that kind of shit,” Kyle deadpanned with Stan, who was so off-caught by the joke he tumbled over while laughing.

* * *

 

“Fuck you, our relationship is already canon. You don’t need to read more yaoi to speculate something already seen in the fucking backgrounds of episodes!” Craig yelled at you.

“S-sorry a-about h-him. He-he’s still a b-bit- t-touchy about the w-whole gay t-thing.”

* * *

 

“I’m not gay. Fuck off,” Cartman told you.

Little did Heidi know about Cupid me….

“I’M NOT FUCKING GAY. MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THE AUTHORS TRYING TO OUTREFERENCE ME INTO ADMITTING MY HOMOSEXUALITY,” Eric screamed.


End file.
